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Recidivism

The knife of justice in our country is sharp but fair, and always very busy. For your first act of thievery, the law keepers will amputate your left hand. This is an act of mercy, since most thieves are right-handed. A second offense, however, and they will of course have to take the right hand as well.

Should you tread upon the shadow of a lord or lady, you will lose your legs. To gaze too long upon a virgin of high station, or to contemplate the stars on a sacred night, or to witness a dog pissing upon a government building, is to forfeit an eye. Many a one-eyed criminal will wear a patch over his remaining eye, lest he lose it for a repeat offense. This is mere wisdom.

If you listen to the blasphemies of a shadow priest, the law keepers will puncture your eardrums, even as the priest escapes into a cloud of mist. The same punishment is earned by those present when a temple musician sings a false note or breaks a harp string. Those who hear a bird speak in human voice are likewise subject to the red-hot auger. The bird district is the emptiest part of the market.

There is no death penalty in our country.

Be especially cautious if you find yourself in an alley marked by black pennants snapping in the breeze, for here you will find lumps of flesh piled on rugs, gaping with tongueless mouths. Many a curious traveler has come here only to stumble away, gibbering mindlessly. Even when limbless and insensate, the worst of our lot will steal into your mind and snatch your thoughts, for their own are largely without charm. Our country is a country of criminals, and Recidivist's Alley is our true capitol.