I like to wear fun socks. And I would like to be able to make my own fun socks. So I’m trying to learn how to knit. I’ve looked at a number of knitting websites and watched a number of how-to videos, and I’ve manged to learn how to make a slipknot and cast-on, but beyond that all I’ve basically been able to manage is masses of hopeless tangles. So this morning I sought out the services of a knitting professional grandmother.

I warned her that I’m kind of an imbecile with poor spatial intelligence, but I don’t think she quite understood the degree to which I was stating the simple truth.

Lisa came along more or less as a lark and not surprisingly got the hang of it more quickly than I did. The knitting professional grandmother remained patient and encouraging with me, but after a while she let slip a few “Well, knitting’s not for everyone” comments.

At the end of the lesson, I yanked the yarn off my needles, thinking when I got home I’d practice some more, starting back at the very first step with the slip knot, but the knitting professional grandmother’s eyes bugged out a bit, and she went a little drill sergeant on me. “Are you QUITTING? Is that how you write your novels?? By QUITTING? Do you get a word wrong and erase your hard drive? Is that what you do, MAGGOT, you QUIT??!!??

Despite the fact that I’m completely making up what she actually said, she had a point.

No, I don’t erase my hard drive. I just work at it and work at it and work at it until I have a scarf or fun socks or a novel. And then once I have my scarf or fun socks or novel, I wave it in the face of naysayers, even if the naysayer is myself.

I also told the knitting shop proprietor that I’m going to knit a SCUBA suit, but that was just me being silly.